-Washroom Confessions-

I predict (and knowing life) that I will have lots and I mean LOTS of mishaps on this adventure of mine. I am human, I make mistakes, but I am also very accident prone, along with having the worst of luck. I have learned to embrace it, laugh at it, and learn from it.

It was my last night in Florence, I had to be at the station at 8, with a 20 min walking commute, so in my mind....wake up, scroll social media, get out of bed, make coffee, get back in bed, contemplate wtf I am doing with my life, get back out of bed, shower, I need more coffee, get ready for the day, pack my bag, make sure I tidy up the place before I leave, double check the house so I don't leave anything, passport, train pass, keys, phone, chargers, where are my sunglasses ugh fuck...so I need a good 2 hours, because I tend to be slow going in the mornings, and have to find my sunglasses. I have to wake up at 6, in 9 hours, got it.

I need to eat dinner (in Italy, dinner doesn't start until 9pm), and I need to do laundry, this is easy, like everyday American life, but first feed me, dinner. Now that I am home, its laundry time but seriously how hard can laundry be, get it all together, get my detergent, and lets get started...located the washer, but wait...where is the dryer?

FIRST- let me say that they have washers, not washers and dryers, so you hang your clothes to dry. Like what your grandmother use to do, and you thought it was fun to run through the clothes and knock them off. Yeah, I have a whole new respect for the art of 'hanging clothes on the line'.

Everything is in Italian, but its a washing machine, they all do the same thing, right?

I recognized some words, like color, quick wash, and start, so I put my clothes in, hit all those buttons and the machine isn't starting. Hmmmm, I know this is the start button, I just know it...because I AM NEVER WRONG, come on people. I open the Translate Italian app on my phone, and yep I was right (told you), but why isn't this thing working? Maybe it isn't plugged in, well that's not the case either because there is the cord, and there is the outlet....ohhhh, ah ha, the outlet isn't turned 'ON'. Back to the machine and hit color, quick cycle, start and BAM, *hallelujah* we have a working washing machine. I will go get my stuff together tonight, so I have a easy morning - SCRATCH that I have one more episode in 'Making a Murderer' I will watch that instead and drink wine.

HOLY SHIT it's 2am...I fell asleep, MY CLOTHES!!!!!

I run to the wash room, and WTF my clothes are still washing? They have been washing for 3 hours now, what did I do, I know the start button was right, so since I am NEVER wrong I know that I pushed ALL the RIGHT buttons. It's 2 am and I have to leave in 6 hours, let me just double check because frankly I don't have time for this, nor do I have time for wet clothes. Trusty Translate Italian app, and Dammit Cami! I pushed a button for clothes with paint on them and washes for 300 mins, why in the world did I push that, it says color, but all that means in Italian thanks to google.com is that its color like paint color...I guess because there are so many painters in Italy that I am unaware of. Whatever. I unplug the washer because I am pissed, and hitting the 'STOP' button is too easy, I needed the washer to know I was pissed. Find the quick cycle button, set my alarm on my phone, wake up, take clothes out, lay them to dry (these mf'ers better dry), go back to bed.

I wake up, scroll social media, get out of bed, check clothes....dry, dry, dry, dry, good job Cami, dry, dry, DAMMIT, my jeans are wet. All I can think is I can't pack wet jeans, I can't smell (no seriously, I only have 4 senses), what if they start to smell in my bag, then what if everything else starts to smell....just nope. They aren't soaking wet, and I will be moving, I will wear the wet, damp jeans, they will dry, life is wonderful!!

HAVE YOU EVER SAT ON A TRAIN FOR 3 HOURS IN DAMP PANTS?!

Don't. Ever.

I arrived in Pisa with saggy, very loose, damp jeans.

Hi Pisa, I am Cami, the retarded American.

❤